Accepting that it’s impossible to do it all

Why is it so easy for us to solve other people’s problems, be there for friends and clients even when it’s totally exhausting, or put others above our wants & needs? Why can it be so hard to accept that many times in our life we are the ones who need to rely on others, ask for help, and accept that we cant “do it all”?

I think as a whole we all like to feel needed by those that love us and can use our help. It feels good inside to know we are doing good things for others. I mean, otherwise, what is the point? It doesn’t feel as good to be needy, “put people out”, or hold back help when it can be given. We must learn that sometimes in life it is ok to think of ourselves first.

So, can constantly giving and never accepting help cause our bodies to break-down? The answer is yes! It is our basic human emotion to love others, to see someone smile because of kindness you showed them, to see how your actions lead to someone else’s success or happiness. And, even though this is a great way to live life, sometimes giving too much of yourself to someone or some thing can lead to what is called burnout! Burnout is the mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress without time set aside for rest, self-care, or proper nutrition. Burnout can leave someone feeling helpless, cynical, and even physically pained. Burnout can cause the immune system to decrease its ability to fight sickness and disease. Eventually, burnout can spill over into every area of life: meaning social, work, and family connections will be affected.

Here are my suggestions on how you can help decrease your chance of burnout, and improve your quality of life:

  1. Say no: its ok to tell someone you can’t accommodate to his or her schedule for a favor or an event. Find a balance and set boundaries… ask a different date or time that is free on your schedule, or ask if it is something to put off to another date. They will understand that your time matters, too!
  2. Invest in better nutrition: Set aside some time to grocery shop for good foods that can help fuel your body. Set up a schedule for easy dinner meals, meal prep lunches, and get healthy options for daytime snacking. Proper nutrition can help fuel your body, improve your immune system, and improve your thinking.
  3. Incorporate relaxation techniques: Yoga, meditation, and deep breathing can activate a higher state of restfulness and help decrease poor reactions in stressful situations.
  4. Let people help: It is ok to let people take over tasks for you that don’t necessarily need to be done by you. This can be hard for many people because many people are perfectionists – no one can do it better than you mentality! Well, some things don’t need to be done your perfect way….in the end if the task gets done it doesn’t really matter what path was taken to get it done!

This has been a trying week for myself. At 35 weeks pregnant I have been trying to do it all: own a business, care for my patients whole-heartedly, be a present mom, be a yoga teacher, and be a decent wife amongst many other things! It finally caught up to me. I have been put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy because my body freaked out on me. I was slapped with the harsh reality that I cant do it all – and I do need help! So, I am going to start taking my own advice now, and will plan to implement this idea of balance into my life as a new mom of 2.

Take this journey with me, and let’s find a better balance between giving and receiving help & love 🙂

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